SOME SPOILERS AHEAD. Please read only if you have already seen The Force Awakens.
Kylo Ren was billed as the new “big bad” to lead the forces of darkness against the Jedi and Resistance, and he didn’t disappoint. The character, portrayed with complexity by Adam Driver, was the embodiment of inner conflict. It’s unclear as to where his motivations truly lie, with some fan theories suggesting he could be driven by a desire to end the dark side by taking out Snoke, while others point to his role in destroying five planets and a certain hero as a pretty clear indication that he is moving towards pure darkness.
Whatever the case, his family history and lack of control over his base emotions point to an angst-ridden soul. This, plus the dark, broody physical appearance of the unmasked Kylo, have led many to draw connections between Master Ren and moody, hormonal adolescents.
The finest embodiment of this notion is a new Twitter account – suitably named “Emo Kylo Ren” (username KyloR3n) that serves as a pseudo journal for the character during his teen years; revealing the inner drama he faces dealing with his parents, school mates and challenging relationship with Nazi-inspired Hux. It’s a parody piece, of course, with its author identified as witty Washington Post contributor Alexandra Petri.
Below is a sampling of some of Kylo’s most emo – and borderline hipster – journal entries.
i hate sand grandpa was right it gets everywhere
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
*applies black eyeliner* my parents don’t understand me and i hate them *applies black helmet*
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
you can’t truly appreciate the imperial march until you hear it on vinyl
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
dear diary I told hux I did not think much of his name for our band he said I should go solo I told him never to mention that name again
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
mom please don’t even pretend you know what I’m going through right now also we are out of conditioner
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
dear diary hux and i are wearing black to commemorate the defeat at the battle of endor we both always wear black but today it means more
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
Darth Vader had no father I envy him
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015
dad the wookiee used all my garnier fructis
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 23, 2015
mom please check your texts i had a fit of extreme power and rage where i mistakenly force-crushed my retainer
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 24, 2015
uncle lando said my helmet made me look like a depressed lampshade and then everyone laughed and high-fived him i hate this family so much
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 25, 2015
current status: in a sarlacc pit but emotionally
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 25, 2015
What do you think? Will Ben ever emerge from this emotional rut?